If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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