Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Boobs speak an international language.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
