Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
