Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
