apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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