sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
