I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
