You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
