I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
