on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
