So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
