fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
