She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
