i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
