some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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