awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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