I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
