Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize