I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
