ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
