D3 body, D1 cock
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
