I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she looked like the before picture.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
