yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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