No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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