youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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