In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
