it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize