you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
