he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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