Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
