Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ttyl tear gas
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
