I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
birth control should be required to get into college
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
