i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
