i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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