You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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