i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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