I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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