We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
