When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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