Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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