Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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