Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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