So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
we're so committed to being not committed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
