I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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