aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
