Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
