am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
