Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
