I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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