you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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