haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
