Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
