Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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