Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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