xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm bleeding and have questions
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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