Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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