so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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