I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
