Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
