if i can run in heels then i can drive
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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