you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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