guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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