O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
